I wish I could hear her story.
I wonder whether she would be brave enough to open up her heart and soul to another, who— for all she knew— might judge her.
I would like to think that I wouldn’t— judge, that is.
I want to know what it felt like to receive the purest form of love that exists.
My favourite fictional hero, Atticus Finch, once said, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view […] until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” (From ‘To Kill A Mockingbird’ by Harper Lee, 1960).
Now, that isn’t to say that I intend to live her life, in pursuit of understanding. I would, however, quite like to have a cup of tea with Gomer.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t sit down and have a girly chat with her even if she wanted to— at least not on this side of heaven. So, for now, I can only imagine the circumstances that led her into the situation she found herself in.
‘A jealous God’
“When the Lord began to speak through Hosea, the Lord said to him, “Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her, for like an adulterous wife this land is guilty of unfaithfulness to the Lord.” So he married Gomer daughter of Diblaim, and she conceived and bore him a son.”
Hosea 1:2-3 NIV
Many versions state that Gomer was a prostitute, whilst some scholars believe that the translation from the original Hebrew is closer to “woman of adultery.” Either way, this prophetic marriage was to serve as a living demonstration of Israel’s unfaithfulness.
Let’s take things back, for a moment, to the first commandments the Lord gave His people after He had brought them out of slavery in Egypt. Not because His nature is to make rules, but because the stubbornness of the human heart and its propensity towards sin called for the provision of some sort of formal standards. If we look closely at the first couple of these laws, we can learn something about the heart of God.
The first was, ““You shall have no other gods before me.” (Exodus 20:3 ESV). And the second was like the first; don’t make images or statues to worship, nor bow down to nor serve anything or anyone that isn’t Him. We don’t really need to ask why, because the Lord tells us Himself. Aside from the fact that no one else is worthy of worship, He is a jealous God— jealous for us with an incomparable love that He desires to be requited. He is also aware that He is the best thing there is, and He wants the best for us.
The nation of Israel had cheated on God by going after idols, to serve, love and sacrifice to them instead of Him. As far as commandments go, they had broken the first two.
‘What happened?’
Back to Gomer.
Hosea— a prophet, a man expecting to receive a message from God to deliver to His people— is first told that there must be a wedding.
The Lord asks him to marry a woman who is familiar with the carnal love of men and whose appetite would by no means change after making her his bride. He finds that woman in Gomer. And this is where my curiosity kicks in.
Who is Gomer?
When and how did she, according to some interpretations, come to work in the sex industry? Was she coerced, manipulated, exploited? What was her childhood like? Was she facing poverty?
I’m quite an inquisitive person, if you haven’t guessed already. If the root cause had a root cause, I’d want to know about it. As I have gotten older, this has evolved into a deep desire to understand why people do the things they do, even the worst of things. I’m intrigued by nature, nurture and everything in between.
In my first year of university, I watched Series 1 of the BBC documentary ‘Life and Death Row’ which can currently be streamed on BBC iPlayer. The series explored capital punishment through the eyes of prisoners living in anticipation of their execution, and presented the stories of the victims and their families. It provided a compassionate, nuanced and thought-provoking perspective, which did not, to me, feel like it was taking away from the victims. It was incredibly eye-opening to learn, in particular, how some of these prisoners came to be in that position, gaining insight into their background.
I would find myself whispering, ‘That’s someone’s child’— a thought completely independent of what they had done or whether they ‘deserved’ their punishment. I was deeply conflicted by this, as I knew that they had done awful things and that the victims were someone’s children too. I just couldn’t shake the imagination of a mother’s pain in the excruciating brace for the inevitable. Like a mirror image of labour; holding a resemblance in the pain and waiting, but jarringly reversed. Flipped. The wrong way around.
I couldn’t help but picture a child playing happily, completely oblivious to the course their adult life would take. My heart ached for this child.
Tears would stream as I gazed on at my big laptop screen in my little uni room, feeling every emotion and being profoundly moved by something that I now recognise as empathy.
At times, this has been misunderstood as “siding with the enemy” or “making excuses for their poor decisions.” But, to put it simply, I just have a genuine desire to try to understand things from another’s point of view, like my dear Atticus Finch.
Empathy does not equal justification. I must admit that my levels of empathy can feel overwhelming at times, and I do have to put checks in place to guard my heart. But I just long to see and feel the ‘human’ in people. And one thing all humans have in common is that we were all once a baby. Empathy, for me, often shows up as the question, “What happened?”
‘Devoted’
Although there is still undoubtably stigma surrounding the sex industry, I think that many contemporary, Western societies are generally more empathic towards it than they used to be. For Gomer, this was certainly not the case.
A woman who was probably very used to being ostracised, shamed and rejected by her own people; who had seen life, made mistakes, been the subject of gossip, seen the backs of many men— now has a fellow saying that he plans to spend the rest of his life solely devoted to her. He intends to enter a covenant with her that would make them no longer two people but one; to vow to cling only to her as long as they both shall live.
I wonder what was going through her mind.
Daughter of Diblaim, did you believe him? Did you think it was a joke? Did you like him? Was he dreamy? Did you even want to get married? Did you ever think it possible? Did you even have much of a say?
Whatever the answers may be, we know that she did indeed enter into holy matrimony with Hosea. This would probably have been arranged with her father, who I imagine would have felt some sort of relief. Gomer herself might have seen the potential benefits of financial security, a home, and possibly some better standing within the community. But I also wonder whether she feared that marriage would keep her caged.
Following the nuptials, and three children later, it becomes clear that there has been some infidelity. Let’s not forget about Hosea in all of this. I’m sure every marriage has its ups and downs, and I’m sure neither party is perfect— but he was bound to have been deeply hurt by the betrayal and rejection, and I feel for him. I don’t suppose that expecting it made it any less agonising.
‘Fatally wounded’
I mentioned earlier about Israel’s unfaithfulness to God, turning their hearts after idols. At this pivotal point in Gomer and Hosea’s marriage, we can begin to understand just how far the love of God goes. The transcendent, unselfish, self-sacrificing love He has for the people He has chosen and betrothed to Himself— and it is truly astounding.
“Then the Lord said to me, “Go and love your wife again, even though she commits adultery with another lover. This will illustrate that the Lord still loves Israel, even though the people have turned to other gods and love to worship them.” So I bought her back for fifteen pieces of silver and five bushels of barley and a measure of wine.”
Hosea 3:1–2 NLT
Gomer had left the marital home by this point and it is not explicitly stated why she needed to be bought back. Some scholars believe that she had gotten caught up in slavery or sold herself as a bondservant to cover debts. One particular commentator suggested that she might have been bought out of prostitution, eliminating the need for her to make money in that way.
I think the most important thing is that— one way or another— she was bought back. And not for a small amount. The barley and wine almost imply that all the silver in Hosea’s possession was not enough and he made up for it with other means. He went above and beyond to get his woman back in an extravagant display of faithfulness, forgiveness and unwavering love. Gomer was already his wife, yet he laid entitlement aside and did not take her home without first publicly demonstrating her worth.
Hosea didn’t just leave it there. He made it clear that things needed to change. Their reconciliation was not conditional, but there was an expectation that she would approach the marriage differently, leaving her past ways behind.
I wonder how Gomer felt now. After everything, what was it like to know that she was still unfathomably loved, wanted and protected? Was she willing to change? I’m sure it would not have been easy to, but I find it hard to believe that her husband’s otherworldly act of devotion would not have fatally wounded her desire to stray.
‘Gomer’
Even though God knew that my heart would continue to go after lesser lovers once He’d made me His, He still decided to go through with it. Even when I proved it with my unfaithfulness, He had already planned to buy me back— sparing no cost, nothing less than the blood of Jesus. Though He knew that I couldn’t love Him the way He loved me, He still wanted my love. His desire to be with me forever— till not even death do us part— allowed mercy and compassion to triumph over judgement for me. His love was stronger than my sin. His love is stronger than my sin.
God doesn’t just leave it there either. He makes it clear that things need to change. He helps me to leave my past ways behind. His kindness really does lead to repentance. Why wouldn’t my heart melt when He loves me like this?
Dear friends, He loves you just as much— already, whether you love Him back or not. The ball is in your court, beloved. Will you trust this God who loves you despite your past, present or future mistakes, forgives completely, publicly displays His undying affection for you and promises to be faithful to you? Your response is yours and yours alone, He is a gentleman and won’t force His way in. But I invite you, come and see the love we share; see for yourself that it’s better than anything, because it’s up for grabs.
“Christ died for us when we were unable to help ourselves. We were living against God, but at just the right time Christ died for us. Very few people will die to save the life of someone else, even if it is for a good person. Someone might be willing to die for an especially good person. But Christ died for us while we were still sinners, and by this God showed how much he loves us.”
Romans 5:6–8 ERV
“And I will make you my bride forever. I will make you my bride with goodness and justice and with love and mercy. I will make you my faithful bride. Then you will really know the Lord.”
Hosea 2:19–20 ERV
Gomer is a daughter.
Gomer is a wife.
Gomer is a mother.
Gomer is Israel.
Gomer is human.
Gomer is forgiven.
Gomer is me.
Xtine